I'm such not that kind of rebel

Today we find out what "flavor" we are having. 9:30 is the appointment. We'll be there.

However... I had agreed to give Tara a ride to work this morning. She called a little before 8 for whatever reason and it's a good thing she did. I was still sleeping when the alarm went off and it sounded all wrong. It sounded more like my phone than the bedside alarm... it was. So when Tara was ready, I went to pick her up and take her to work. I left the house in my grubby sweats and the only t-shirt that I have kept long enough to actually get holes in it.

I totally got butterflies in my tummy leaving the house at the time appointed for being dressed and ready for work. I was NOT dressed and ready for work. But I was still going to work (in a manner of speaking). I felt like I was cheating the system. Like when we'd run accross the street to have lunch at Kourtney's house, even though our high school did not allow off campus lunches. OooOOoo! What a rebel!

Work has been this crazy up and down of stress lately. Just when I think I have things a little under control, and the boss is out of the office the next day and I will be able to get caught up.. BAM something happens and I'm all sorts of behind.

Now to validate my complaint... I really like to be so on top of things that at the end of the day my desk is completely clean and I have nothing carring over to tomorrow. That does not happen. But currently, I am about... however long I've been at this new position... behind on like 3 projects. And now I'll lok dumb if I have to back and tell my trainer-person 'um, yeah can you tell me how to do this project again... I know you did the first week I started. But. I have not done anything with it. Ever.'

And I can sense some frustration from some of the managers I work with because of these projects that are not being completed... and I'm trying not not be frustrated with them because I cannot tell when my frustration is valid or when I'm off on some crazy pregnancy hormones. But honestly... cleaning the break room?! It's my job?! On top of all the real work I'm doing. p-shaw.

I've got two days ahead of me with less managers. However I spent a day and a half workingon their presentation... so I'm more behind now... and I'll be getting doctored one of the days everyone is gone. Sigh, and then I need to pick up the diaper care and feeding for another manager, who is very high maintantance. *sigh*

meat loaf I was in the mood for some meatloaf the other day. For more than one or two meal, so it musta been a real pregnancy craving. We sure don't have any meatloaf just sitting around the house, not the stuff or time to make it... So I thought I was outta luck. Then Scott suggested I try and find a restraunt that serves meatloaf. HA like anyone sells meatloaf. Oh, but they do! I got some at Cotton Patch. Everything that came with it was very yummy. THEN we went to the grocery store and their deli was having a sale on home style meatloaf. so now I am stocked! yeah for meatloaf!

... vampires...

shopping... Scott's mom took me shopping for fat person clothes...I mean maternity clothes. i got some cute things, and they fit and have room to grow. and we got some 'secret fit' bottoms... and although they sound like Victoria's Secret stuffs, it's actually just really comfortable belly band and the top of the pant. The one thing that is most uncomfortable now is my little diaphragm. It gets squished by the bands that fit over the belly, and I have a almost constant cramp under a right side of my ribs, right under the bottom of my bra. poor little diaphragm. But I'm still not a huge fan of shopping, and by day six of looking at websites with these ridiculously nice looking pregnant models, I was really really done.

"i missed you"... um and something else... asthma... Oh I need to go now, will flesh these out lata.

I was just telling James about my aha moment and it made me laugh to myself and so I thought I'd share:

We went to the store Saturday and got some coco butter, because I'm vain enough to not want stretch marks. and having just "popped" the need is becoming slightly more urgent to do some preventative work. (I have had stretch marks before, and I DON'T like them!)
Scott picked up some 100% all natural Coco Butter and had me smell it. He said "Mmm, smells chooocolatey." I didn't think anything of it, but he was right it did smell chocolaty. I guess I did wonder for a second how they could claim to be 100% natural if they infused a scent into the product. But who am I to question these important marketing things? Right?

Then I was reading the label.

hehe

and I read that it is made from the same plant as chocolate is made of...

giggle...

and I had no idea that they came from the same plant.

haha!

but now it makes sense
they didn't flavor the coco butter, duh!, it smells like that NATURALLY!

hahahah...

Big shout out to Janika for coming to the "Breaking Dawn" release and being all giddy and girly, *cough* I mean mature and grown up with me.
Pretty much the book is perfect. I almost didn't tell Scott what happens in a vain hope that he would be interested enough to read it himself. Alas, I caved. AND truth be told he never was more than mildly interested in weather or not I liked it. Not what happens, just if I liked it.

*sigh* Maybe one of these days.

I woke up from our Sunday afternoon nap (which is probably my very most favorite part of the week) and wanted to make things. I have clothes I was going to cut down to size so i can have button-ups that fit, and I want to make baby things. I am ready to be ready for my baby. Too bad I have 5+ months left until the little guy gets here.

I am also debating where to put the baby, in my head it's a boy, my favorite options right now are clearing out the walk-in closet and converting it into a baby room, or just putting everything in the front room. If I did the front room, we'd be closer to him, and actually utilizing the space. But it's so bright! So, we'll see.

I have slept on a wide variety of pillows and positions in my life.

I got to the point that I really liked sleeping on a flat surface, ie no pillow, and I remember seeing commercials for mattresses and the actress would be curled up and using the actors arm as a pillow. It looked SO uncomfortable.

Then I moved on to big pillows. I would sleep on my side and have lots of support. Now when I watched those commercials, I could see how that would be comfortable. Granted all the actors had huge biceps. Mmm.

Then I got married. Um, Scott is fit, but not bulky like those actors. I was kinda worried to tell the truth!

But as cliche as it sounds, he fit's just right.

BUT now I have to sleep practically Upright. Now I can't use my human pillow. Nap times are nice, after church or whatever, because I don't get to a deep enough sleep to not breathe. So I can cuddle then.

what a wonderful feeling!

Janika and Mike *forced* me to read Twilight.

Yesterday i was musing over how I felt about the book on my way to book club. I figured that since I didn't read the book for book club, I should at least think about A book on my way.

This is the summation of my musing:

I love it! I enjoy the books (it's a series of four, the fourth book will come out next month)more than I have enjoyed a book since 7th grade.

In 7th grade Becca Suter lent me a book she was reading. I loved this book so much I went out and bought it for myself. Twice. The book is "Beauty" by Robin McKinley. ( for years I didn't know she wrote other books... but last year when I did find out, I gobbled up a lot of them. So far my other favorite is Deerskin.)

I'm not SURE what makes these books so precious to me, but for years and years (until I was married actually)"Beauty" was my most favorite book. I could go on and on about what happened and why it was not so ... enchanting to me, but I'm cooking mac and cheese and I only have a hour break for lunch... Somehow after I was married, the magic fell out. I could read it, but I was not discovering a new facet of the story each time I did. It was like th book suddenly went 2-D.... that's the best explanation I can give right now.

But these "Twilight" books have that magic that "Beauty" once had. It's AMAZING! I didn't realize HOW MUCH I missed that magic. It's the kind that doesn't leave when I put the book down... the kind that stays with me and keeps me dreamy all day. It's such a release. My other favorite books are favorites for different reasons. "Jane Eyre" is a favorite because It actually made me laugh out loud and cry out loud as I was reading it. Amazing. I've never done that before.

I do remember a Sesamie Street episode where Maria and elmo are reading library books and laughing and crying because of the pictures. I thought they were wierd, but after reading "jane Eyre" I feel right on the level with a three year old monster and a much older actress. :P

notes to self: Please come back and edit this!

Read that book club book and the one about food and where it comes from... Allison Seer has the titles.

I wonder...

if people assume that because I'm not bossy, that I can't take care of things. That would explain a lot!!!

Belly pictures - 15 weeks

Straight on... it's hard to tell because of the many layers and sweats.. but I'm not showing much.




From the side, just standing normal.




From the side, "pushing out"



From the side, flexing / sucking in.

I'm having a really really hard time taking my prenatals. My ObGyn gave me some really good ones. I take one in the morning and one at night. They taste like vanilla and although they are horse pills... It's just two pills a day ( I had been taking 8 horse pills a day before Dr. Maxi intervened...)But I can't seem to do it. I was really good with other medications. I know how important these are.

Here is an example: I sat at the computer with a fruit bar and my pills. I pipped a pill out and ate it with a bite of fruit bar... My throat is dry and sticky from sinus drainage and is ever worse in the morning... so it stuck a little going down, but I just took another bite of frozen fruit and let it melt until it had all gone to my hungry little tummy. Then I finished with the computer and went to pick up me trash and clean or somethig... but the pill was still there!! I had never eaten it!

This is getting insane! Does anyone have a suggestion?!

more, unlabed, pictures from Seattle

This time you get to tag yourself!

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you.
It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

New Job... Yea!

I have the opportunity to move upstairs and work for the ROC (Regional Operations Center)... and I'm excited. Hopefully I will be a thousand times less stressed!

vacation pictures

Day five (we're going backwards)was a busy day. In the morning was Greyson's 7th birthday party. His actual birthday is on the 16th. Then we went to the Market and visited the bug museum. It was SO COOL!! I will have to post more pictures of the bugs and spiders. They practically had to drag me out. Then we took a 'cruise' around the sound.






Day four we went crabbing. Twice. During the day we didn't catch anything but we did FEED A WILD SEAL!!!! We came back that night and caught a 5" crab... so we had to throw it back. We fed seagulls and I got some fun videos of that, but I'm doing pictures this go round. Not videos.



Day three we went to see a juggler in the park in the morning and then spent the rest of the day with the Hanson's. Pictures is Jacob, their cute little tyke.



Day two at the Zoo. In the Butterfly Exhibit we watched live butterflies and moths hatch from their crystalists!! Greyson and I saw the black bears, and pulled apart a flower to see what it looked like before it opens. It was a science-y day and I loved it! After, we went to Dick's burger place and ate at that cool park made from an old factory.

Day one at the Bowling Alley. Aidan and I made quite the team. I threw balls into the gutter with gusto when he was not holding my hand... my center of gravity was off by about 3.5 years.

Seattle

We've spent almost a full working week in Seattle now, and the weather could not have been more perfect. I'm almost disappointed. I was hoping to get some famous Seattle misty foggy stuff. All well. I hear that it's usually beautiful in the summer and I'm just s.o.l. unless I come during the winter. I guess we'll just have to come back. :P

It's been nice to visit family. I was totally sick with worry that the boys would not remember me, or they would not like me (from everything I've heard Alicia is so awesome, I thought I'd been replaced as the cool person...) or something.

To my relief they remembered me, but they do seem to like Alicia better. I guess that is what happens when they never see or hear from me and they see and hear from her all the time. (It still sucks!!) To her credit, Alicia is a very fun person and seems to be a wonderful girlfriend for James. We played Taboo last night and watched Transformers on the trampoline. I had a very fun time! And her enchiladas are VERRRY yummmmy!! Hopefully next time we can get more time just the adults to get to know each other better.

On another positive note, we visited with Mav and Maris and Jacob and Andrew. I gave them the web address so they could peek in and see what is oing on in our lives... and so knowing full well that they might read this: THEY ARE SO FREAKING AWESOME!! Man, Scott and I both can't get over how much fun we had with them. We ate lunch and played for eight hours. I'm still in the first trimester and therefore perma-exhausted and Maris just had Andrew (the poor little guy was circumcised on Tuesday). She looked FABULOUS. Maris is a bee-a-utiful person to begin with, but I was amazed. (Maris, if you are reading this and you have not caught on already... I think you are pretty.) The time we spent with them seemed to fly, and they seemed to actually not get bored with us. Amazing. When I saw my face in a mirror later, I was amazed to see how tired I looked. Sure I felt tired, but that's nothing new. I had so much fun that even when I'd get a bout of the sleepies, I didn't want to leave. But In addition to that, I totally felt welcome and connected like I had know them both for years. I guess technically I have.. hmm... well I felt like I had ... um... lived near them, and SEEN them for years (this was the first time I have met Maris in person and the second time I've seen Mav).

I'll be uploading pictures and stories of all our adventures, but for now I'm blogging while th big boys play volleyball. I forgot where we were for a minute, even church ball is the same no matter where you go, until someone gave Scott a sorry look when they found out he is from Texas. :)

Greyson's birthday party is tomorrow morning, and I need to go find a bookstore to get his present from. Wish me luck!

Family Reunion 2008 at Heber Valley Camp, UT

Durrrr....

Yesterday I saw Erin at Walmart... and acted like a complete retard.

I could have struck up a conversation and gotten to know her a bit better. I'd really like to. BUT my brain effectively shuts off when I should be making intelligent conversation.

The worst part is that right as she was walking out the door, I got an explosion of things that I actually wanted to say and get an answer back about.

Now, cross your eyes, tilt your head and drool... that's about how I feel.

I'm officially adding "making smalltalk" to my list of skills to relearn when I'm not going insane because of work!

ah hah moment

Moment of truth: I heard stories of how much a fastidious housekeeper Jen was, and I was appalled when I saw her house. There was always a mess everywhere! I mean everywhere. I kinda resented her for keeping her house so messy (how horrible is that???).

Then I heard her days of keeping tidy were before she had kids. I could NOT understand this. I nannied for years and was always careful to keep the kids and their environment clean. I assumed that when you had kids, the maternal instinct included the desire to keep your baby safe from choking hazards on the ground and infections / unclean dirt around their play and eating areas. But I was shown to be wrong.

When we moved to our new apartment I kept it clean. Not sterile, because ya know, I'm kinds a sloppy person. I was proud of the fact that I could keep house, even when James was living with us (and I was effectively living in a bachelor pad....)and most especially when his boys came over. I was determined to show them that living like they were was not the only way. (Again, how conceited was I??)

Then I got very really terribly stressed out and even though I was taking antidepressants, I felt that the task of keeping house on top of everything else was just too much. I tried to tell myself that I'd be able to get it done if I didn't ork all the time. But them Saturdays (and Sundays) would roll around and I could not make myself do it.

One day as I was searching through the pile of laundry that had not been washed in a month for something to wear, I had my epiphany. DUH! This is what happened to Jen! I know living with James was no picnic for her. I heard about it in her words and I got confirmation from James. It was stressful and she really tried to do her best. She weathered their storms so much better than I could have. James was a monstrous ogre to her ( and I love James, he is my brother by choice... not because I had to live with him.. :P ) and he treated her like crap. You could ask him and he'll tell you. He was trying to deal with his own demons and instead of beating those demons he took it out on Jen.

Through this ongoing trial she didn't fall away from the church, she didn't even break out in pimples like I always seem to do! SHe raised some of the most amazing little boys I know, got a little reclusive but was always willing to do the right thing and was a very diligent Visiting Teacher and feeder of missionaries. Really the only thing that suffered was her housekeeping. That's about it!

Now not to paint the roses red... she did get bitter and angry... but who wouldn't? Honestly?!

I can't believe how easy it is to let the things slip when life is so out of control. I'm grateful for the teaching moment, because I really don't resent her dirty house any more. I don't like it... and I certainly don't want to wake up and find myself in a similarly dirty house, but I feel like I understand so much more about life now.

And yesterday I started on the laundry that has been sitting in the closet for about 2 months now. And I had a wonderful helper come over and help me with the vacuuming that has not been done in about as long. Thanks Janika!! I feel like I'm on the road to recovery. AAh, bliss.

Also found on the baby's blog - Names

I was bored a while back... way back in the 'desire' stage and we came up with some baby names. Actually they are person names but we will use one of them to name our baby... :P (meanings to be added next lunch break)

Category - Family names Arren likes: (most of them are one name from each family)
James Dwayne (supplant ; dark)
John Roy (God is good ; king)
Charles Oliver (man ; elf army/ olive tree)
Peter Eugene (rocky/ stone ; well born)


Emma Hazel (strength ; commanding authority)
Carol Janelle (freeman ; God is gracious)
RuthE Megan (Firend ; Pearl)
Laura Bethany (crown of laurels ; God's disciple)

Scott's picks:
Jared (descent)
Marcus (martial/ warlike)
Archiantus ()
Brandon (hill/ high spirited)

Katherine (pure/ unsullied)
Catrina (pure/ unsullied)
Olivia (olive tree)
Bernadette (brave)
Chloe (blooming, verdant)

Arren's (not family) picks:
Tobias (God is good)
Gareth (gentle)
Jaron(vocal)
Cody (cushion)

Bianca (white/ fair)
Marget (pearl)
Miereal ()
Ortensia (gardener)
Jael (Hebrew for high climbing)

Other Unusual Names:
Braden (open minded)
Brice (strength)
Damien (to tame)
Devlin (brave, fierce)
Landon (plain, old fashioned)
Rowan (tree with red berries)
Brandt (dignified)
Gavin (white hawk)
Johan (God is gracious)
Nigan (ahead)
Zarek (may God protect the King)
Haydenv (hedged valley)
Hamon (leader)

Zoe (life)
Aniktah () OR Anitra (gracious, fill of grace)
Ester (star)
Arabella (eagle; a hearth)
Gemma (precious stone, jewl)
Aaliyah (to ascend, highly exalted)
Nadine (hope)
Abril (open; secure, protected)
Seraphina (highest 'level' of angel)

Comments and OPINIONS are strongly encouraged!!

Love you Forever

Forever and always, my baby you'll be.

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