From Diane Setterfield's The Thirteenth Tale

People disappear when they die. Their voices, their laughter, the warmth of their breath. Their flesh. Eventually their bones. All living mempry of them ceases. This is both dreadful and natural. Yet for some there is an exception to this annihilation. For in the books they write they continut to exist. We can rediscover them. Their humour, their tone of voice, their moods. Through the written word they can anger you or make you happy. They can comfort you. They can perplex you. They can alter you. All this, even though they are dead. Like flies in amber, like corpses frozen in ice, that which according to the laws of nature should pass away is, by the miracle of ink on paper, preserved. It is a kind of magic.

--Diane Setterfield

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I'm such not that kind of rebel

Today we find out what "flavor" we are having. 9:30 is the appointment. We'll be there.

However... I had agreed to give Tara a ride to work this morning. She called a little before 8 for whatever reason and it's a good thing she did. I was still sleeping when the alarm went off and it sounded all wrong. It sounded more like my phone than the bedside alarm... it was. So when Tara was ready, I went to pick her up and take her to work. I left the house in my grubby sweats and the only t-shirt that I have kept long enough to actually get holes in it.

I totally got butterflies in my tummy leaving the house at the time appointed for being dressed and ready for work. I was NOT dressed and ready for work. But I was still going to work (in a manner of speaking). I felt like I was cheating the system. Like when we'd run accross the street to have lunch at Kourtney's house, even though our high school did not allow off campus lunches. OooOOoo! What a rebel!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Work has been this crazy up and down of stress lately. Just when I think I have things a little under control, and the boss is out of the office the next day and I will be able to get caught up.. BAM something happens and I'm all sorts of behind.

Now to validate my complaint... I really like to be so on top of things that at the end of the day my desk is completely clean and I have nothing carring over to tomorrow. That does not happen. But currently, I am about... however long I've been at this new position... behind on like 3 projects. And now I'll lok dumb if I have to back and tell my trainer-person 'um, yeah can you tell me how to do this project again... I know you did the first week I started. But. I have not done anything with it. Ever.'

And I can sense some frustration from some of the managers I work with because of these projects that are not being completed... and I'm trying not not be frustrated with them because I cannot tell when my frustration is valid or when I'm off on some crazy pregnancy hormones. But honestly... cleaning the break room?! It's my job?! On top of all the real work I'm doing. p-shaw.

I've got two days ahead of me with less managers. However I spent a day and a half workingon their presentation... so I'm more behind now... and I'll be getting doctored one of the days everyone is gone. Sigh, and then I need to pick up the diaper care and feeding for another manager, who is very high maintantance. *sigh*

Thursday, August 7, 2008

meat loaf I was in the mood for some meatloaf the other day. For more than one or two meal, so it musta been a real pregnancy craving. We sure don't have any meatloaf just sitting around the house, not the stuff or time to make it... So I thought I was outta luck. Then Scott suggested I try and find a restraunt that serves meatloaf. HA like anyone sells meatloaf. Oh, but they do! I got some at Cotton Patch. Everything that came with it was very yummy. THEN we went to the grocery store and their deli was having a sale on home style meatloaf. so now I am stocked! yeah for meatloaf!

... vampires...

shopping... Scott's mom took me shopping for fat person clothes...I mean maternity clothes. i got some cute things, and they fit and have room to grow. and we got some 'secret fit' bottoms... and although they sound like Victoria's Secret stuffs, it's actually just really comfortable belly band and the top of the pant. The one thing that is most uncomfortable now is my little diaphragm. It gets squished by the bands that fit over the belly, and I have a almost constant cramp under a right side of my ribs, right under the bottom of my bra. poor little diaphragm. But I'm still not a huge fan of shopping, and by day six of looking at websites with these ridiculously nice looking pregnant models, I was really really done.

"i missed you"... um and something else... asthma... Oh I need to go now, will flesh these out lata.

I was just telling James about my aha moment and it made me laugh to myself and so I thought I'd share:

We went to the store Saturday and got some coco butter, because I'm vain enough to not want stretch marks. and having just "popped" the need is becoming slightly more urgent to do some preventative work. (I have had stretch marks before, and I DON'T like them!)
Scott picked up some 100% all natural Coco Butter and had me smell it. He said "Mmm, smells chooocolatey." I didn't think anything of it, but he was right it did smell chocolaty. I guess I did wonder for a second how they could claim to be 100% natural if they infused a scent into the product. But who am I to question these important marketing things? Right?

Then I was reading the label.


and I read that it is made from the same plant as chocolate is made of...


and I had no idea that they came from the same plant.


but now it makes sense
they didn't flavor the coco butter, duh!, it smells like that NATURALLY!


Sunday, August 3, 2008

Big shout out to Janika for coming to the "Breaking Dawn" release and being all giddy and girly, *cough* I mean mature and grown up with me.
Pretty much the book is perfect. I almost didn't tell Scott what happens in a vain hope that he would be interested enough to read it himself. Alas, I caved. AND truth be told he never was more than mildly interested in weather or not I liked it. Not what happens, just if I liked it.

*sigh* Maybe one of these days.

I woke up from our Sunday afternoon nap (which is probably my very most favorite part of the week) and wanted to make things. I have clothes I was going to cut down to size so i can have button-ups that fit, and I want to make baby things. I am ready to be ready for my baby. Too bad I have 5+ months left until the little guy gets here.

I am also debating where to put the baby, in my head it's a boy, my favorite options right now are clearing out the walk-in closet and converting it into a baby room, or just putting everything in the front room. If I did the front room, we'd be closer to him, and actually utilizing the space. But it's so bright! So, we'll see.