Should I blog more*...
Should I get those really cute cloth napkins to replace our paper ones**?
Should I tear my hair out because I:
a. maybe won't get my entryway project finished by my deadline^ even if I try
or
b. am losing good mothering points^^ because I'm putting said project ahead of the happiness of Jaedyn
Should I save money for a big trip***?
Should I go to bed now, or read a book, or watch a TV show with Scott?
AHH!
Here is where I go running into the night, screaming.
~~
*perhaps but I should probably really spend my time in real (not virtual) life.
**Well since our paper ones are from 'food' storage and I have not bought a roll in over a year and a half... I'm not going to really save money doing it...
***There is talk of the sister's taking a trip to Europe next spring but I have not even spoken with Tarah or Emma about it...
^My brother and his girlfriend and my dad are coming for a visit / camping. Miles leaves Afghanistan the 1st of September and he's coming pretty directly HERE. That's my deadline for making things look nice. Less than a week. Yikes! I have not even finished screwing things together. Much less puttying or painting!!
^^Scott grew up with this as the rule for outings: if you threw a fit, mom would leave the store right then and you could not come the next time she went out. If she was ALMOST done or JUST beginning it didn't matter. You act up, you leave. Scott remembers having a full cart of groceries taken to the manager of the store. His mom explained that she'd have to leave the groceries there and not buy them because her son was not acting appropriately in public.
It made an impression. We thought we'd adopt that rule.
Today Jaedyn threw a huge fit at Home Depot. To the point that clerks and other shoppers were giving me 'the look'. I should have left but I didn't until I had half the stuff on my list (I forgot the rest). She acted up, we should have left.
4 comments:
Don't over think too much...that makes my anxiety level go through the roof. I didn't realize this growing up, but am pretty damn sure I have an anxiety disorder - but something a friend told me has really helped. And that is that "stress is self induced, and only influenced by the external environment. If you are able to convince yourself that it is only your external environment that seems stressful, and not yourself, then maybe it will help you calm down. If you choose to realize that these things are external, and you remain to focus on the internal, you will be less stressed." Which for me means less anxiety.
Anyway...I miss you :-( It is a damn shame that for as long as we were friends we don't speak anymore. There was a major fork in the road where our lives went in such different directions, but I would really like for something to change, if that's ok with you :-)
OOooOO. Yes.
I have had this feeling before too. I think I was having it a few days ago when all my plans fell through. I was trying to decide what would fix things: potato chips? chocolate? novel? I tried the snacks, then buckled down to a project I needed to do for my writing and felt much better. So accomplishment is a big help.
I need to try the accomplishment trick... I need to successfully try it! I attempted earlier today, but Jaedyn woke up and Scott and a friend came home... and it's hard to saw wood with a baby walking around or sitting in your lap or to build with grown men walking on your wood. Crazy people. I had to take a break.
I think the external forces are not actually that stressful... it's all in my head. bummer.
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