I was flipping through blogs and tried like five times to post comments to my friends. Unfortunately I couldn't think of anything nice to say so I said nothing at all. I still love you, but you will get no comments out of me until I can get my emotions under wraps!
That sounds harsh... I could think of lots of nice things to say, there are so many exciting things going on in everyone's lives. So much to be grateful for and to congratulate people on. What I couldn't do was think of something nice to say that would not end up with something to the effect of: "that's great for you, but I feel even MORE like a piece of poo now that I see your life progressing the way I WANT my life to go...and here I am 'stuck on the front of this stupid ship... could be worse I could be stuck in the audience ho ho ho...' (oh wait I am)
I want an amazing husband who works hard and brings home the bacon, I want to have a fulfilling hobby and wear cute aprons and take care of the house, I want to have kiddos and blog all about them, I want to foster and adopt children with or without bearing my own, I want a million bucks and a silver pony, and if I can't have that I want my brother and his kids around so I can close my eyes and pretend. Dang it!
As it is I have to give a shout out to Mike who was kind enough to give me a priesthood blessing. Thanks for thinking of me!
I got a Dictionary of Real Estate Terms so I can learn more about my industry... I want to be a super star at my job but I'm frustrated at how long it is taking me to learn everything. I'm covering nine positions. Six of them either are a full time job that someone has walked out on and I'm (helping to)covering for or the VP's whom I work with are used to having a staff or a personal assistant. Each of them. Last I counted I'm just one person... so learning six staff and or personal assistant jobs is taking more time than I'd like. Tuesday I had my 90 day review. My strengths are limited to (according to my review) being friendly, taking initishitave however the heck you spell it and 'keeping my desk clean and organized'. hmm. My areas of improvement focus on the fact that I've only been there 90 days and they are not giving me clear direction. When I write it out it does not sound so bad, but during the review I started to cry. I have tried SO HARD to get things right. The examples of what I am doing wrong are all singular events given by one person who gives terrible direction. When I act on those directions word for word from what she said, I'm now counseled that I'm doing an insufficient job. It made me so confused and upset. What the heck more do you want from me?!? FedEx or Certified Return Receipt? Cause you said BOTH and I did BOTH. Geeze! Pant pant pant. What I got out of the interview that was not so terribly depressing is that I need to communicate to EVERYONE when I will not be available to help with something or when I will be stationed somewhere else in the office for a day or two. And that e-mail notifications are preferable. Okay. And again I'm calm. Stressed and overwhelmed, but calm. Thank you and good-night. *bow*
3 comments:
Hey girl! I'm so sorry to hear that right now you aren't in a place you want to be-- and that you wish you had different things. This won't mean much now- but in time, you will have all those things you mentioned and more. You are an amazing girl- and you can get whatever you want....sometimes it is hard waiting for time to catch up to us- but everything takes time.
I hope you feel better soon:)
You sounded like Veruca Salt for a bit there, but I know you are aware of that. Feel better, you have a good husband, and the family and everything else will be there before you know it. I can't help on the silver pony... but it would be cool!
You gave a great lesson last night on Journaling. I'd like to see more of your digital journal here *wink, wink*
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