My sister in law Megan does not understand why.
This is what I came up with in 10 minutes. Anyone else have something to add?
Megan-
Also, maybe you could help me understand something that continues toescape me: Why do you see it as a disservice to the child to not haveany siblings? I was thinking that as long as I provide Teaq withsocial experiences time after time as he's growing up, that he willlearn about people and how to interact with society in an acceptableway. I guess I was also thinking that I was doing him a favor by notbeing a crabby mom all the time (cuz that's what I turn into when Idon't get enough time alone and have too much to do :)
Arren - Well, I am not even sure where to start. How about the future. Your grandkids will have no extended family on your side. This means less presents for birthdays and Christmas. Less letters from family while on a mission, less opportunity to get to know their parent (father). Aunts and uncles remember stories of each other better than the grand parents do... grandparents memories fail them :P and half the time they were not around for the stuff that was fun/ funny. Less inside jokes, less safety net to fall back on. Think of it, if you were an only child and your parents died... or left the church. Who would you turn to? Now what if your parents were only children too? No family anywhere you turn! No cousins with shoulders to cry on. No relatives to move in and continue on with. And no one who knows your parents like you know your parents (if not better) and can mourn them the way your mourn them. There would be no one for Teaq to fight with and learn to forgive, because they are stuck under one roof. I think a lesson this important should be taught while growing up. Not when you are married and suddenly 'stuck' with your spouce. No one for Teaq to feel proud of, (siblings are the BEST show and tell) no little siblings to protect on the playground. To one to tease. No one to giggle late at night with, he'll always sleep alone :( No one to share the quirks you and Quin have, that only a child would love. If he tried to tell some they would think you extremly strange, not endearing. No one to pray for when they fall astray. No one to wish him the best at his wedding. No one to give hard learned lessons to. No secret languages that are not for mom's ears. No one to share disclipline with. No one who understands things like you've forgotten how to do, like a child does. No friendly face when you go to a new school. He'll always be alone at the end of the day, no matter how many times you take him out to play. How would he learn to nuture? To treat a baby? How sad to be afraid to hold one when he is a dad.
3 comments:
IMO, every person is entitled to their own life and their own opinions. What business is it of hers to decide how many children someone else can have?!?! Tell her that she is welcome to have an entire litter if she wishes, but that she needs to back off and let you have your own opinions about your own family. There is no one right way to create a family. I could just as easily argue why having several kids would equally be just as much a disservice to the kids!! Lets see, off the top of my head... less one-on-one time with mom and dad, same amount of money has to be spread around more kids, less money to spend on each child doing extra-curriculars, middle-child syndrome, children feeling lost or isolated in the group, etc.
Thanks Allison, I want to clarify that this not a 'getting into other people's business' thing. It's more a getting to know you discussion. Like "wow, we have different views... why?"
Scott thinks ... well he was trying to speak objectively... so I really don't know what he thinks.
James has never met an only child who didn't wish they had siblings.
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