Stressed

I think I'll be writing in a real journal about this one. Sorry you'll have to wait until I'm dead to find out what is going on. :)

Got some pictures...

This MUST be a placeholder...

I know I had ton's that I was going to write about... and now I can't think of a thing. Well, I can but I will save them for a real journal... like a book that you write in. OR I could just chat those thought out with Crystal in the morning...

Oh, one of the things was that tomorrow is Jame's court date to start divorce proceedings. I've got very mixed feelings. I was telling a co worker today that the little angels on my shoulders are really having it out. Scott is going with James. They will leave at 7:30...so I may leave for work then too. I have 30 mins I need to make up. I was sick all over the toilet the other day. ...

bad French Onion soup at 1:30 AM at a bar while you are watching Monday Night Football does not sit well with me. I just learned that.

Empty nest or no... well it's probably definitely empty nest syndrome... nonetheless; I really miss my boys. I hope I get to see them soon.

On working out.

Crystal and I have started working out again. It's nice to get up in the mornings and start the day off right. I even have time to do my make-up well now. WooHoo, I got some compliments/second looks at work on Friday. I am taking it as a good thing.

We have also been playing volleyball at Yucatan on Friday nights. The first week I was REALLY sore, but this week I can feel where I used muscle groups more than normal but it's not bad.

I also had some super helpers teaching me the 'how' of the game. Este was my favorite teacher from last night. Thanks!

Now Scott wants the computer and i must relinquish my grip on the out-side cyber world.

Comments

So I have taken the time to read over the comments left me on my older posts. I have commented back on quite a few. Check it out.

Who sorts the mail?

How dare he!

I work really hard to do things really well and I take pride in my work. Who does he think he is to question my competence at my job! I "sort the mail", and I don't lose the bills. I have procedures. I have standards that I hold myself to. I work well because I allow myself to be anal about the job I am doing. Whatever it is. If the bill is missing, it's because I NEVER GOT IT!

"Stupid Fetcher!" - quote from Morrowind

If you can't read the e-mail I sent you why are you in Corporate management?!
I don't need some one who cannot read to be telling me that I am not doing my job well. Not to mention that I had FIXED the problem as much as is possible. And THEN I went to him. Geeze, It's not like I'm asking for a lot. Just look up the payment history, Tell the stupid people that we have either payed them already and they are retarded, or that we haven't. Not that it was Arren's fault. I have filled out the payment request and sent them in to YOU at corporate. And then I will fill out another request that I requested in advance, and we will pay them. There is no need to freak out my manager. No reason to be rude to me.

AH, done venting. I think.

now that I am more rational... He might not have meant to be so offensive. It was my decision to take the comment personally. I don't need to hang on to it. But I do need to let my manager know about it. * sharp nod* . Yes. First thing tomorrow. And if he tries to pull anything tomorrow, I'll go straight away to management... no matter if she has left or not. I have the cell numbers. I don't need to take any more steps down that path, anger and the dark side lie there...

EDIT.

I think I am good at doing these numbers. WOOHOO! It's like the first time ever.
K. so 'he' gets these emails where I have spelled out in detail what is going on. But he evidently can't read or can't add and subtract. It makes perfect sense to me and I can explain it to him or anyone using the numbers. Never thought I was that good at math. who knew!

I'm still upset that he is not moving past the first e-mail. Evidently not reading about what is going on and all. But I am feeling much better now.

passwords...shhh it's a secret

So I have a general password. for just about everything.

I use it at work and add number combinations behind it to differentiate between passwords that are "used" and therefore no longer valid.

So I was doing some banking stuffs and I had to call USAA. I had to set up a password because they will no longer be asking me to identify myself my telling them my fathers birth year... who knows that anyways... ( me! I guessed and it was right!!)

so I gave him the password and then they need a "hint" word. So if I forget my password They can give me a hint.

My hint word is a common weed... and it has NOTHING to do with my password.

So I was at work, trying NOT to think about the 50 odd co-workers that got laid off today... including my week one match-up in Fantasy Football... and I contemplated the irony that my common weed would make me thing of my password.

I'm home now and I'm still trying not to think about it. I can only handle so much of people I am close to being ripped away from my sphere of influence. Today's layoff has so over tipped the scale that I'm numb. In addition to James, in addition to the boys.

SO here are my thoughts.

Memories sometimes come with smells, salt free eggs and toast are the smell of early morning seminary. Sometimes they come with sounds, when I hear "Where's the girl" from the Scarlet Pimpernel I am transported back to the musical and the palpable tension the actor and actress brought to the music.

I have a plant memory. Just a common garden weed, but The feelings it's name evokes are overwhelmingly powerful to me.

This common weed is the memory of my cousins coming to visit. We were showing off our friends, their houses, and beach, and Texas in general. By the Nielson's old house on Oil Field Rd, there were longhorns. Naturally they were a stop on our tour of Sugar Land. I was so happy that they were there and so proud to have fantastical beasts and what not to show off. Aunt Jenell commented on a weed that was growing throughout the pasture. We picked the flowers and admired them. It was such a great memory, not outstanding in wonders or insight, but infused with contented joy.

Years later I was setting up my very first e-mail. I needed a user name and I picked one, probably something dumb, and was then required to enter a password. I remember the excitement of this moment. My stomach was all in knots. I was making an E-MAIL!! I was really grown up now! I picked my password (which is the same one I have used ever since.. I'm loyal like that :P) and they asked for a prompt. I remembered vividly for some reason the summer that my cousins came to visit. The common weed that we had admired seemed to epitomize the experience and has become a symbol of something beautiful and perfect, and happy. I was feeling happiness and wonder and excitement akin to that summer and named the weed as my prompt.


Later I realized that I could have ANOTHER e-mail address. I also realized how dumb my first one was. So I picked another much cooler name, but I was having trouble coming up with a password. My original password had a connection to my e-mail address via a movie I like so it was easier from then on to remember my password. The three words, my user name, password and prompt are now intrinsically locked together in a memory of the wonder of making my first e-mail address and the feeling of ultimate happiness.


So the memory of a weed really does remind me of my password; even though they are really truly not related in any other way.

Whas'goin on...

I just finished writing out a letter to our apartment explaining why they needed to pay us 2 or 3k. They rifled through and broke/ damaged our stuff.

They will pay.

We have no bed... just a mattress on the floor. Oh, yes, they will be paying us back for the damages and the time.

In Addition.

Jen has left with my nephews. She left James on a whim and is in Washington for an undetermined amount of time. I miss my boys.

In addition. I joined the fantasy football league at work.

I have no idea how football works, much less fantasy football...

In Addition.

I met Wes Staub and his wife Katie at a volleyball game last night. I grew up with his family and now he is living in our old ward in Richardson. Also there at the game was a guy I am SURE was in my study hall Sophomore year of HS.... Chris... I'm just sure, I'll have to go to another game and ask him.

Hey did you flirt with me in study hall back in high school??

hehe..

Tha's about it.

Oh, yeah, and Scott just bought me a new washer and dryer!! THIS washer and dryer.

more confinscated quotes!

You're always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company. ~Diane Von Furstenberg

Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. ~Mark Twain

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

Life isn't worth living, unless it is lived for someone else. ~Albert Einstein

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet 'em on your way down. ~Wilson Mizner

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. ~Winston Churchill

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. ~Anonymous

A day without laughter is a day wasted. ~Charlie Chaplin

What does not kill me makes me stronger. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi

Oh Geeze ANOTHER post?! Do you not have a life???

Not actually. James and the boys are doing a sleepover... but only until 9 PM. Then they pack up the sleeping bags and go home.. how dumb is that?

ANYways the purpose is I grabbed this Poem from Lindsey Law's Facebook. I pretty much heart it.

Thank you Becca :) Its my favorite:

"Being Human" - Naimn

I wonder if the sun debates dawn
Some mornings
Not wanting to rise
Out of bed
From under the down-feather horizon
If the sky grows tired
Of being everywhere at once
Adapting to the mood swings
Of the weather
If clouds drift off
Trying to hold themselves together
Make deals with gravity
To loiter a little longer
I wonder if the rain is scared of falling
If it has trouble letting go
If snowflakes get sick
Of being perfect all the time
Each one trying to be one-of-a-kind
I wonder if stars wish
Upon themselves before they die
If they need to teach there young
How to shine
I wonder if shadows long
To once feel the sun
If they get lost in the shuffle
Not knowing where they're from
I wonder if sunrise and sunset
Respect each other
Even though they've never met
If volcanos get stressed
If storms have regrets
If compost believes in life after death
I wonder if breath
Ever thinks about suicide
If the wind just wants to sit
Still sometimes
And watch the world pass by
If smoke was born knowing how to rise
If rainbows get shy backstage
Not sure if their colors match right
I wonder if lightening sets an alarm clock
To know when to crack
If rivers ever stop
And think of turning back
If streams meet the wrong sea
And their whole life runs off track
I wonder if the snow wants to be black
If the soil thinks she's too dark
If butterflies want to cover up
Their marks
If rocks are self conscious of their weight
If mountains are insecure
Of their strength
I wonder if waves get discouraged
Crawling up the sand
Only to be pulled back again
To where they began
I wonder if land feels stepped upon
If sand feels insignificant
If trees need to question their lovers
To know where they stand
If branches waiver at the cross roads
Unsure of which way to grow
If the leaves understand
They're replaceable
And still dance when the wind blows
I wonder where the moon goes
When she is hiding
I want to find her there
And watch the ocean
Spin from a distance
Listen to her
Stir in her sleep
Effort give way to
Existence

Rhetorical Assignment One... assigned to myself , by myself

" Directions for Composition
Discuss the pros and cons of real, historical, or even fictitious laws. Use the following headings:

• legality
• justice
• expediency
• practicability
• decency
• consequences

Example
Apthonius provides the example of opposing a law that requires an adulterer, taken in the act, to be killed."

Again it was REALLY slow in my office today. It was fun. Everyone was in a good mood because we made our numbers for the week and it is Friday.

But by three I had ALL my work done, my boss had left and I was Rhetoric-ing. I saw the above as an example of what the ancient students of classical rhetoric (Roman to Renaissance) would do. I was inspired. I went to the work room got a letter sized pad of ruled paper and started listing the pros and cons... I got confused an had to clarify at the top of the page who my audience is: Atheist children... I was going to do legislature... but that would be too hard... and I was going to do Christians or religious people... but that would be too easy.

I'm not nearly done with my first draft. I was reading up on another site and got discouraged because they would all do it as a class and try and better from the next student's arguments and consiceness... but I'm stuck with myself.

Perhaps I'll post it here when I'm done and the internet will act as critiques..

PS. Christy just texted me and I chatted with her for a while, it was REALLY fun. If you read this, Christy, "I love you" . < that dot is me waiving at you, only I'm SO far away that you can't see me well...

Hey, so...( I'm trying to be very cool and macho) what religion are you?

WHAT!?!

How is that for office chat at the scanner?

So I answer. I go to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Huh?

I'm Mormon.

No Shi.. oops I can't say that in front of you. I knew a Mormon in High School. That's cool. * porbably thinking, aw nuts... now I can't ask you out.

* thinking, that's right buster... I'm totally outta your league! ..and then there is the fact that I'M MARRIED!

So I heard that you can't eat chocolate or drink things with caffine...

We have been advised not to. BUT that does not stop my husband and brother from sucking on the Dr.Pepper.

I had to leave then because I was laughing so hard.

Music

I turn the music from this site WAYY up when I feel like busting a move:

Jamelia

I first hear "see it in a boy's eyes" at work... I dance around everytime it comes across the player...
I pretty much like all the other songs as well... I wish she'd put "bounce" back on the playlist...

I also really like "Some kind of Wonderful"... I forget who it's by...

Are Mormon's allowed to dance?

Our sales manages asks me this all the time.

Today everyone was standing around my desk as usual, we planned it that way... so I would be "in the know", chatting about loans and the crazy things borrowers do and Alex looks over and says :

"Are you drinking Coffee?!"

"No, it's my hot chocolate :)"

"Oh, cause your not allowed to drink things with caffine or coffee."

"I don't drink coffee..."

"You can't drink either, isn't that right?"

From Matt (possibly my favorite co-worker) " You can't drink?!"

"No." *thinking to myself... okay guys, I know we went over this my first week here when the branch went out to Bennigan's for a farewell party. Remember... I had the water....Matt, you were the one to grab the waiter and demand my beverage when the waiter forgot it. We made a big deal about the fact that I don't drink.

At this point everyone is looking right at me and I can feel the fire rising in my face. I hate blushing, so I worked hard on trying to blush... which one can never do, and it uaually stops the event from progressing...

Variations on "That's wierd... or I could never do that." from all the co-workers as they walk away form my desk to their offices.

Rhetoric.

I happened upon an informative site: Silva Rhetoricae.

It's pretty nifty.

The housing market is in a slump and so instead of being SWAMPED like we are supposed to be, it's dead slow in our office. So I have been learning all about rhetoric when there is nothing else to do.

The coolest part is application. When Someone else is droning on and on about something I really could not care less about, I start to analyze their style and stuff. AND I have to pay attention to what they are saying to do it, so I can answer the odd question with ease. Much more entertaining.
Next step is application in my own communications.

"Watch out world, Here I come!"

Here are videos' one and two... if you are interested.

The segue from video one to video two is:

Aidan grabbing at the camera/ phone.

Arren- Hey!

Aidan- wanna do ah video ofh me?

Arren- mmm, Okay.

Listen close... it's there!

Video of Greyson's ACTUAL birthday.. the party was the following weeking

So this is the third of three videos of our adventures at Casa Ole. They took FOREVER!!

The funny part is Grey's face at about 6 minutes into the video... if you wait out the rest you will understand and appreciate what I'm talking about. ;)

Additionally, I wish the lighting was better but at least there is SOME picture. An audio recording simply would not do it justice. And the music gets annoying... it's that base thump,thump, thumping in the background.

Quigley family boys

Are they not cute?I miss these guys. There is a whole there.

Aquarium

Tarah has national diving tourney in Dallas, so the whole family came up to visit

We went to the Dallas Aquarium. It was cool.


Mollusks I think...
Sloth, he was out in the open air. No cage for this guy.
Seahorses anchored to the floor for nap time.
Manatee and a HUGE fish

Lampray eel
Jaguire. She is beautiful.
Geckos... think Geico.

Flamingos!!

Grey's birthday!!

Greyson is 6!We had a superhero party.

Dad and Grey and Scott made the cookie cake from scratch.

Dad adn Grey decorated it.

We put streamers up at the pool.
Then we partied with some friends.